What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 00:56
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So, i spoilt her more .
What did i know ?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Why is Trump so disliked worldwide?
Ive learnt so much.
I write beautiful poetry .
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Why do I sweat a great deal while exercising the same on some days and not so much on others?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He was dying to do it , i knew.
As i do to all so called friends.?
What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Especially a lifetime of it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
What's the gayest thing you have experienced on an only boys sleepover?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Is Twilight appropriate for a 12-year-old?
But it wasn’t much.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?
She found it foreign!.
So whats the point in blame.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Do girls ever miss their first love?
This is soul school!.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Who then, do I blame.?
Who are your 5 or so favorite Quora people?
She loved him until the end.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
What is the correct way to say "my pleasure" in French in the context of having given a gift?
He knew the spot.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My life is so biszare .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She married twice! .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I will be 64.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We were not on the streets..
But ive been too sick for many years..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I have no regrets .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
It was going to be , some day.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
She was in good health!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Would this be the day?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
(And it was in our own minds.)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We all went to grammer schools
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was 9 years of age.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
All the time i was locked up.
I said to her
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Was to survive, this bastard.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I never cut or harmed myself..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Put me off passion for life!!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I know ,a lot about trauma.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was seconnd youngest,
My family never makes their pension either.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But, we were locked up after school.
Im still living with it.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I think the readers, may guess!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
And i lived it daily.
I could never make a relationship work though!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I waited trembling.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She wouldn,t have been !
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Comes on , in middle age.
When she asked me how she looked .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I don,t even have a pension.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was very sick at this time too.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
One cannot live in the past .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I was scared of men, in general
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.